Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
