Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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