its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
