do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
