Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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