dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
