i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
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MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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