let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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