I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
