i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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