You can't motorboat a personality
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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