Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
