He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
