i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
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I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
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He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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