I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
