I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
