i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
