I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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