fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
