would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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