Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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