This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
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We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
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He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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