If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
