Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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