The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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