new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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