Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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