Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
