I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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