I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
