hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
