you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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