he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
