he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
