It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
zippers are such a cool invention
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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