She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
