She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
