I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize