i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
