when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
