Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
