are you still at the devil's house?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
