I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize