hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
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And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
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I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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