I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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