i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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