you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
