I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
