i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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