bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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