I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i've created a new STD.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
