I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
