I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
