from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
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