She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
