strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
