I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
