Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
A+ Viking dick
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
