i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
