I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just found puke in my bra..
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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