I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
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You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
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I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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