I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
