her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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