Dual....:-)
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
