bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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