Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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