You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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