I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
