so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize